statement of intent feedback and LR

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1) Read your feedback carefully and then write a summary of it in your own words using WWW / EBI.

 Current mark: 7

Approximate grade: 7

WWW: You have a great concept here and your statement of intent uses media language and theory throughout. You’ve clearly thought about key aspects of the technical production (e.g. mise-en-scene) plus the section on audience is a strength. This is not far from the top level already.

EBI:

  • Try and add a little depth and detail to some of your media language planning – the section on mise-en-scene (specific planning for make-up) is excellent but you need to try and reach that level with the camera shots too. Be more specific and explain the effect the shot will have on the audience.
  • You mention a couple of interesting aspects of representation but I think you could do a little more – perhaps expand the point on diversity and the Asian cast?
  • Make sure written English is perfect e.g. the opening section begins with a long sentence that is difficult to follow. Perhaps use bullet points in places to cut the words down and get straight to the point? Also, you may want to check you are spelling theorists’ names correctly!

2) Do you need to make any changes to your narrative? Why?
No because it was good.

3) How can you improve the use of media terminology in your Statement of Intent?
No because it was good.

4) Representation and stereotyping was a weakness in some drafts. How will you address the key concept of representation in your next draft?
I will address the key concept of representation in my next draft by extending my point on diversity and Asian cast.

5) Finally, think about audience. Why would the target audience (teenagers and young adults) enjoy your TV drama concept?
No because it was good.

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