Audience essay feedback and learner response

1) Copy and paste your feedback from the email in full - WWW, EBI and LR.

Audience essay feedback:

WWW:

·        Wow – this is phenomenal! You’ve written well over 1,000 words which demonstrates that you’re really stepping up to the challenges of GCSE level. Well done!

·        There are so many good points here where you discuss both audiences and industry in relation to the internet. You’ve also brought in some media effects theory which is great to see. I particularly like the organised structure to your essay, using paragraphs and topic sentences to guide the reader through each point.

EBI:

·        Although it’s great to see paragraphs and topic sentences, in a couple of places you need more clarity. In fact, your opening sentence doesn’t quite make sense – what is a ‘rated’ amount of power? Remember, first impressions count in exams – don’t give your examiner an opportunity to form a negative first impression!

·        Similarly, the third section of your essay discusses the ‘printing’ industry. Print could cover a lot of different media – newspapers, magazines, books. You need to specifically state that you are writing about news.

·        I think you also confuse citizen journalism with news becoming free. They are both excellent points but not necessarily related – news is free because of the internet and organisations like the BBC and Guardian making their content available for free; citizen journalism is a separate point.

2) What was the word count for your essay? The word count for my essay is over 1000

3) What was your strongest paragraph? Why do you think it was better than others? I think I had no strong paragraphs but if I had to choose I,d say my music industry one because it had many examples and topic sentences.

4) What was your weakest paragraph? Why do you think it wasn't as good as others? My weakest paragraph his my newspaper industry because I did't write in much detail, no statics and not many examples and consumed my oi ts.

5) How can you improve your extended writing in GCSE Media Studies in future? I can improve my extended writing by using statistics and using more information.

6) Write ONE thing you have learned about the internet, audience and industry from completing this essay. The music industry has developed a lot throughout the years because if the internet.

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